I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
