you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
These tits shall not be calmed
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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