So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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