I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize