I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
