We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
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We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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