This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize