More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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