She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
