On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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