I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
