Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
