How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
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We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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