I think this baby is eyeing my beer
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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