gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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