So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also, beer. Big fan.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
