How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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