My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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