I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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