Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize