My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
