I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
there is glitter all over my balls
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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