This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
