You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.