left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread