Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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