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the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
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