He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.