bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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