Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
