Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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