Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
