Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
