I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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