i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
