So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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