therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
