it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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