At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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