He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
