ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
