No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
