READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
