Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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