I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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