So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Floor bacon is actually really good
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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