Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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