Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
