Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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