I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
