fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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