Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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