pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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