My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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