genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
