so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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