My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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