I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
