If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
