Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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