somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
