its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
