I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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