Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
