jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
