I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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