New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I see more hoeing in ur future
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