Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
