one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
