I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
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