My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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