having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
